Ever watch one of those late night jazzercise infomercials? They generally feature a bunch of folks prancing about on screen bedecked in spandex, really getting into the workouts and the music and the whole experience. Out loud you're saying "...Huh" in a derisive sort of way but in your head, deep down, you're wondering—they're all so chipper, aren't they? There must be something I'm missing.
I get that way about the Farming Simulator series. The butt of so many jokes, its inexplicable popularity outside of the U.S. is nothing short of mind-boggling. Farming Simulator 14 (that's 2014, not the 14th incarnation) recently landed on just about every platform under the sun, but the iOS variant was only $3 so I figured I'd take the plunge. And you know what? It's not for everyone. Or for most, I gather. But there's something a little bit magical here—provided you're the patient sort.
It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.
A few minutes in, and I'm already off to a bad start: there's no tutorial. I'm all for learning by doing, but a devilishly intricate simulation game is not really the best place to dive in headfirst.
That said, the basic controls are easy enough to figure out: push the throttle to adjust your speed, steer with that sliding steering wheel thing. But I certainly don't know my header from my tedder and strapping various odds and ends to your tractor to see what they do gets a bit stale rather quickly. There is a manual, though it's little more than a webpage with screenshots explaining what all of these buttons mean, and a quick summary of how the various farm implements work—a tedder converts dry grass into hay, by the way.
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